Monday, 10 June 2013

Exhaustion fatigue plagues again!

Exhaustion or Lazy?

I can’t give you the answer to that one!  All I do know is, one day I can be up and about from O’my goodness the sun’s not yet up, to, Oh my goodness the Sun’s about to come up!  And in the summer, that is a long time! Then the following day? It will take me 12 hours sleep to feel alright to step out of bed and brush my teeth, then sit back in bed to get the strength to go downstairs… and that would then be me on the sofa, reaching for breath until a few hours later when I make my way back to bed, to recover from sitting on the sofa yawning for an hour or two.

Is it laziness?
It has been suggested in some quarter’s that it is pure laziness that has me there, but I have always been a hands on mother and have not shirked away from getting up close and personal with mucky kid’s games, infact what human wouldn't want to become their inner child?

On Friday, myself and my youngest two Gaia (3) and Devin (2), joined the school trip to Barry Island. A seaside ‘resort’ fairly close to where we live. I hadn’t been there before, so it was a total blind test for me, indeed, it was a total blind test for both of the babies as they hadn’t ever seen ‘sand’, or indeed had seen the sea side!  When I realised that, it dawned on me, that their elder brother and sister had both been so blessed with a Mummy that was able to be about and up and down, and would run every day with them, either in the pram both or just one of them.  wouldn't batter my eyelids at driving down to Plymouth, Devon, to visit my family and take the youngsters (nephew too), to the beach, get pasties, so on…. Then I became ill with my back, and my mental state diminished to just responding to living.  When I reached my lowest mental state, getting out of bed and getting dressed was a chore. I did need carer’s to help me and the children when Simon and I had a break, but times are better now. Simon is here, I am not at my lowest and clearly not at my best. Life is a chore, it is difficult sometimes to raise a smile, and when my back is very painful (today being a good example of why I take painkillers), it is a chore to breath – physically through the pain.   Now though, I can raise a smile, and do tend to have more patience than once did.

So why the lazy streak? ……  mental health and pain, the only things I can surmise to be the sole contributor’s that both sap energy and fun from the life sole of any living thing.

Have I been making and creating?

You can bet your bottom I have!
Some sewn up bits, some dresses for the little one, some head bands for the little one and other little ones… some Jelly Roll strip cuttings for our jelly roll quilt… well actually its not a ‘Jelly Roll’ quilt as not one Moda fabric strip is within the selection. The fabric’s I was looking for, needed to be within the dusky colour range, pink, blue, lilac, silver Etc.   I have gone out on a limb and have added some teal, black, brighter pinks to accent the duller shades that match the Trapunto Wall Hanging’s I have made, or am in the middle of making (I need a machine method for creating the Trapunto, hand sewing is too slow and too hap hazard for me sometimes)

This episode almost took a back seat to my exhaustion too!  Whilst getting the babe’s to bed, and reading the final stories to Gaia, I was yawning, and yawning, and yawning… When will this apathy of life stop, and when can I reclaim me?

I hope this hasn't dragged you down too much and hope you can give me some advice to making my life turn the corner into the positive and away from the negative threshold that I seem to be stood in all the time….

With all this in mind, please feel free to check out my sewing bits and bop’s that I purchased from the Malvern Quilt Show recently… once again my purse haemorrhaged money..

To use on my son's bedding

Lavender Soaps to use on a bunting above the bed....

The unravelled roll was my final fabric find and was the best for fitting my colour scheme! 

when washed this bundle frayed terribly and the 'strips' have curved up!

These are the wild card, I've used only a few of them as accents

starch and iron to add substance to the fabric

more starch and ironing