Phew It's not right I tell you!

One potential reason for fatigue?

There is potentially a link to the morphine patches that I wear and the fatigue, but not in the way you’d consider it to run.

I have had another bought of fatigue, this time it lead the path of lethargy that prevented my breathing being able to satisfy my need in some strange way. I found myself pulling in deeper and deeper breaths and still needing to try for a deeper breath!

I pretty much slept for 48 hours solid. There was the odd hour or two where I was able to remain conscious and lucid. However, these were not abundant. At one point I was sat on the sofa finishing off a Tilda Cushion,

This was the one that sent me into slumber...

Next thing I am aware of, is Simon (my loving and patient partner), holding my head up and speaking softly to me. I had fallen asleep sat bold upright on the sofa whilst my two little ones were fizzing about my person and the lounge – turning it upside down and throwing cushion’s across the floor to create the thickest and bumpiest carpet ever!

Was this the end of the fatigue?

No it wasn’t,

Infact this went on off and on for the week, I use the 48 hours as that was pretty much the worst part.

Last night, having napped the day away, following painting the kids play shed a lovely Pale Jade colour – its an off white in reality, but looks stunning now – finishing touch will be the flower’s that I’ll be hand painting onto the door and side… maybe the front where planters are too…. Anyway I digress.

Later that evening I asked my eldest daughter who had finally got it into her head that in order to create order in her room from the destruction and devestation that was abundant prior to this ‘fight’, she needed to down size her belongings by a good two thirds.

The battle raged for a week or so, and finally it was mostly done, all that was left was the hovering and the dusting. So she was allowed a slight reprieve in her grounding to have my close friends daughter over to sleep and then we all go to the boot sale on the Sunday.

From 2100 to 2200 she tried to reach Nat’s but failed by phone, so I attempted to leave a message on Jan’s Facebook Profile… Hey presto..

2200 Nat’s was due to turn up, I had already slooped off to bed, but thought, that a shower might just do the trick to lift me up a little bit. It worked, and then whilst I was drying myself post shower I realised that I had not had my Morphine patches on for a good portion on the week. The one’s that I had taken off, had been on there for too long too!

The reason for the fatigue it would appear was indeed the lack of morphine in my system! I know it sounds totally backward to the effect of morphine, however, when you consider that I was coming off a drug… then it open’s up the mind set for several other area’s that I could have gone down the road of. 

It may well have caused a seizure as my Epilepsy control was being threatened yet again, I did have the shakes, but that I’d attributed to not eating properly. Lack of appetite, again, that isn’t something new, but I had eaten fairly little. (apart from the day’s that I had a full Cooked Breakfast – with fried bread… yuummmm)

So what can I learn from this encounter or rather not encounter with morphine and it’s disappearance from my system for a few days.

It is apparent that my body despite taking opiates and other mind altering drugs, has now become so accustomed to the drugs that the effects are reversed. Interesting concept really, which would then indicate that when I am not full of the drugs, I am in a mind altered state would it not?... My head’s frazzled just thinking about it!

What does all that have to do with Patchwork, Quilting and anything sewable?

On the surface not a great deal.  Notwithstanding the mind altered state, the items that can come out of or from this head and either onto paper for creating at a later date, or indeed do come into being on that date are  not necessarily ones that would have potentially popped out of my most conservative head.

I wouldn’t describe myself as an arty type. I didn’t excel at art, indeed what ever I did turned into a total mess up, so I took different options whilst at school and left the Art to the ones who could.  However, I always wanted to be arty, I love to watch the hands flowing and the picture just appearing from the most basic of tool’s.  A pencil and paper can create the most delightful of scene’s or portraits. Not in my hand though.  So maybe that is where my particular patchworking and quilting style’s come into being. I’ve a passion for something and a total lack of skill in that arena, so I vent it elsewhere. HERE to be exact!

With that all said and done, I now bid you good night, (I’m going to be making bag’s now until the washing machine has finished its cycle anyway x)

Take care,

J x

P.S. As a foot note, I will be designing my own bag’s soon (all going well) and will need some ‘Guinea Pig’s to test the patterns and fabric’s for the bags. If you would like to have a go at this pattern, please get in touch, leave your name, email address and let me know a little bit about your experience as a sewer, quilter Etc.

Email:-Janey@bagsocharm.co.uk

Exhaustion fatigue plagues again!

Exhaustion or Lazy?

I can’t give you the answer to that one!  All I do know is, one day I can be up and about from O’my goodness the sun’s not yet up, to, Oh my goodness the Sun’s about to come up!  And in the summer, that is a long time! Then the following day? It will take me 12 hours sleep to feel alright to step out of bed and brush my teeth, then sit back in bed to get the strength to go downstairs… and that would then be me on the sofa, reaching for breath until a few hours later when I make my way back to bed, to recover from sitting on the sofa yawning for an hour or two.

Is it laziness?

It has been suggested in some quarter’s that it is pure laziness that has me there, but I have always been a hands on mother and have not shirked away from getting up close and personal with mucky kid’s games, infact what human wouldn't want to become their inner child?

On Friday, myself and my youngest two Gaia (3) and Devin (2), joined the school trip to Barry Island. A seaside ‘resort’ fairly close to where we live. I hadn’t been there before, so it was a total blind test for me, indeed, it was a total blind test for both of the babies as they hadn’t ever seen ‘sand’, or indeed had seen the sea side!  When I realised that, it dawned on me, that their elder brother and sister had both been so blessed with a Mummy that was able to be about and up and down, and would run every day with them, either in the pram both or just one of them.  I wouldn't batter my eyelids at driving down to Plymouth, Devon, to visit my family and take the youngsters (nephew too), to the beach, get pasties, so on…. Then I became ill with my back, and my mental state diminished to just responding to living.  When I reached my lowest mental state, getting out of bed and getting dressed was a chore. I did need carer’s to help me and the children when Simon and I had a break, but times are better now. Simon is here, I am not at my lowest and clearly not at my best. Life is a chore, it is difficult sometimes to raise a smile, and when my back is very painful (today being a good example of why I take painkillers), it is a chore to breath – physically through the pain.   Now though, I can raise a smile, and do tend to have more patience than once did.

So why the lazy streak? ……  mental health and pain, the only things I can surmise to be the sole contributor’s that both sap energy and fun from the life sole of any living thing.

Have I been making and creating?

You can bet your bottom I have!

Some sewn up bits, some dresses for the little one, some head bands for the little one and other little ones… some Jelly Roll strip cuttings for our jelly roll quilt… well actually its not a ‘Jelly Roll’ quilt as not one Moda fabric strip is within the selection. The fabric’s I was looking for, needed to be within the dusky colour range, pink, blue, lilac, silver Etc.   I have gone out on a limb and have added some teal, black, brighter pinks to accent the duller shades that match the Trapunto Wall Hanging’s I have made, or am in the middle of making (I need a machine method for creating the Trapunto, hand sewing is too slow and too hap hazard for me sometimes)

This episode almost took a back seat to my exhaustion too!  Whilst getting the babe’s to bed, and reading the final stories to Gaia, I was yawning, and yawning, and yawning… When will this apathy of life stop, and when can I reclaim me?

I hope this hasn't dragged you down too much and hope you can give me some advice to making my life turn the corner into the positive and away from the negative threshold that I seem to be stood in all the time….

With all this in mind, please feel free to check out my sewing bits and bop’s that I purchased from the Malvern Quilt Show recently… once again my purse haemorrhaged money..

To use on my son's bedding

Lavender Soaps to use on a bunting above the bed....

The unravelled roll was my final fabric find and was the best for fitting my colour scheme! 

when washed this bundle frayed terribly and the 'strips' have curved up!

These are the wild card, I've used only a few of them as accents

starch and iron to add substance to the fabric

more starch and ironing

20 Amazing Dog Tricks In One Minute

20 Amazing Dog Tricks In One Minute

Fantastic, the abilities of the border collie family are truly underrated

Thanks for putting this all together

J x

And We're Off!!!!

Online… But Am I?

The emails are now up and running, in a new formatted outlook to the one I am used to, so a bit of educating on my feet is being done to accustom myself to it.

What about the rest of me?

Well the chronic back pain and hip agony have proved too much to handle without extra medication.  The Dr has up’d my dosage on the Gabapentin by the same again as I was taking.   The result?

Still in pain, but I can sleep 20 hours out of 24!  Which is great if you are Ripvanwhinkle, but I’m not, I’m a mummy to two active toddlers’s and can’t be spending my time in my bed.  The quilts don’t get made whilst I am asleep, nor to the clothes for the little ones either!  The dress I want to make for my birthday dinner isn’t underway either! Hrumphj!    

With two running about until gone 2100 and a back that screams blue murder at the mere thought of doing some house work, it is nigh on impossible to get anything done to a standard that I  find acceptable.

Well as it stands, I have two new born. Neo-natal quilts done and ready to add to the pile I’ve accumulated here.  I do also have some lovely table cloths that are ripe for the cutting table and set to be reassembled into another neo-natal quilt.  The photographs will be added at the end of this entry.

So in all fairness, I have done some things, the kitchen floor is gleaming and the house smell’s of bleach (a lovely clean aroma that allows me to believe the house to be a clean one!).  Both babies are in bed, and the youngest is now not climbing out and running riot about the house.  It takes time and a voice that can command an army, but we get there.

Is this home a failing one?  Maybe in some respects, but in the reality of the situation? No, it is a functional home that has laughter and tantrum’s as much as any other.  Oh, and a month of birthdays!

April is an expensive time in our family, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t’ enjoy it.  I am 40 as is my twin, Mother is 70, Sian is 13, Devin is 2 and my Nephew Harry is £15.  All needing presents that mean something to them.

What can little money and a home filled with fabric buy?  Well clearly nothing!  It’s all home made and from the heart!

Take care and I hope that your April Fool, was a Happy Fool

J

X

Still not online properly!!!!

What did we do prior to the internet and emails?

Well, I wouldn't be accessing friends blogs across the globe that's for starters. Indeed we wouldn't be friends at all!  Strange to think that this world has become so incredibly small. With the advent of fast air travel, the size had decreased, but not incredibly.  Now I can chat live time, to friends in New Zealand - quite literally the opposite side of the globe from me.

We have now got the opportunity to learn about other cultures in our own homes.  The knowledge at our finger tips is phenomenal.  Ignorance is no excuse anymore.  When I begin my degree, I won't have to spend hours in the library researching, I can turn on the PC, and log onto what ever provider I chose, and read. 

However, when it doesn't work what do we do?

We get angry, frustrated, lonely, and we grieve!

What on earth is wrong with us?   We expect this 'animal' to be continuous, 100% all ours and with no gliches what so ever.

Right now, with a new pc, I can not get access to my emails from two accounts.  I've got emails there that I need access to. The frustrating part for me?  My partner is an IT engineer and can sort it out with a flick of the mouse.  Why hasn't he done this?  He will say he was looking after the kids... whilst sat on his laptop watching You Tube? LOL

So the reality is, I rely upon the internet animal 100% of the time.  Right now it's 2300 and any normal person would be in bed, chilling out, trying to calm down from a busy day and getting refreshed for another.  Now I have this animal that will work with me 24/7, I expect myself to be able to do so.  I can't, something has to give - and with me it's my body that's telling a tale.

So I'll sign off, do a bit of sewing of the latest newborn quilt and off to beddy boes for me. 

Night all

J x

We are back!

Not a Holiday!

We haven't been away anywhere, nor have I been taking a sabbatical.

I had a new PC delivered, (one that was meant to be a whole world quieter than my 'old' one) though it is most definitely quicker, it is just as loud... :-(

hrumph... though the sewing machine has been working, it's not been working on quilts... the one that was in progress had an argument with some Pepsi and lost... a quick hand wash seem's to have worked the evil out, but I'll only be able to tell 100% when it's back together.

So for now, I sign off, try to regroup and get the blocks started again 

;-)

Finalising the little Quilt

The Smallest Quilt

She (yes this one is a she) is finally done and dusted.  I have sewn on the bias binding that I made with my fair hands. 

You can most likely see a cross in the bias fabric on the top edge.

This is where I have folded and ironed the bias where the two ends will meet. (I use an Antex Mini Iron as you can see above the quilts top edge).

With the end’s folded like this, the diagonal edge will be less conspicuous than a straight edge. I don’t know why it is so, but it works so I stick to it.

I unpinned the entire top edge’s bias, and sewed the two ends together using the same colour thread as I will use when sewing the bias to the quilt.

After sewing them I trim the ends down to 1/4 “ and fold outwards. Then I lop off the little triangles that show above the bias seam.

The two ends folded and mini ironed into place to form a neat line as a guide

This shows the edges sewn together

Close up of the sewn edges

My Antex Mini Iron, one thing I wouldn’t be without. Not only is it cheaper than the clover iron, it is just as usable, and if you do come across with a problem, no matter how small, they will gladly have your’s back for testing and fixing, no charge!

 

Above you can see the Silver making good the seam’s on the quilt. Not only that though! You can also see my newly manicured nails!!!

Above you can see the binding and decorative stitching to cover the line left over from the bias being sewn down.  I don’t worry about invisible stitching as I like to have the decorative stitching all round the quilts as it leaves it with more substance and less likely for any stray edges/seams to unravel!

The above picture shows the quilt in action. The ‘baby’ is called Annabelle, and can be purchased through most good toy shops ;-)

This quilt will suit a pram, crib, bouncer, moses basket, a Pram crib, or anything of that size.  If you wanted I can put Heat’n’bond vinyl on one side to make it a change mat and blanket in one. Or I can do a blanket and change mat to match with vinyl on both sides. This of course does add a fair sum to the item as it is currently retailing at £8+ per half metre (23cmx43cm)